Diesel fumes result in writings like these.

Yes, this is pretty damn boring right now, but give me some time to collect my writings and type them into the machine and we'll have a nice page devoted to my favorite author – or at least someone I’m willing to read – me. Thanks. Right now, the only thing you can see here is my journal and some poetry. I also have a rather racy essay that should be here soon. Other than that, I'm not promising anything.

Oh, yeah, there is this romance story that I wrote. I think romances are a bunch of horribly written crap, but a lot of people seemed to like this, so I figure I'll let you decide for yourself.

I'm a big fan of phonetics and grammar. I mean, Pygmalion is one of my favorite books (the musical My Fair Lady is based on it). Anyway, here are some of my favorite dictionaries on the Net, mostly humourous if you know the context.

The B’tayctionary
as specialized as they get. This covers the speech patterns of about six people who live together (me included). If you can master this, you too can be an honorary B’tay.
The New Hacker’s Dictionary
oh, a classic. Also known as the jargon file, this baby contains everything you could want to know about the peculiarities of speech that propagate through Usenet and other hack-oriented circles. It’ll help anyone understand us, I promise.

Poetry

I had all my poetry in a nice long HTML page, but somewhere along the way of about four formats on my machine, they got lost. Now, I have to find the sole printed copy and put them all back into the machine. Don't hold your breath on this one.

OK, fine, stop badgering me. Here are some poems that should hold you over for about five minutes. They are actually some of my least favorites, but I did write them, so there.

Essays/Reports

Right now here are a few things I wrote for a religion class. I haven't had much interest in writing for class, but this one was a hell of a lot better, so my essays are actually rather decent.